Always in my right mind

            A longtime friend of mine recently asked a question on social media to all of his left-handed friends and family: “When you shake hands, do you prefer to use your dominant hand, or do you automatically go righty because it's considered the norm?”

I have a handful of things that I am truly passionate about, and left-handedness is high on that list. In my opinion—and that’s all it is—most actions lefties perform with their right hand don't stem from comfort or “etiquette.” Instead, they come from adapting to a right-hand-dominated society. My friend's question left me wanting to offer my own two cents on the subject.

Growing up, I didn’t have any left-handed friends. I only knew of two uncles in my family who were left-handed. Because of my left-handedness dominance, I had several people—including teachers and family members—who would give me grief.

I remember in school, if my paper was smudged, points were taken off my grade. If I used my left hand to complete tasks and struggled because the tool was geared toward a right-handed person, I would be scolded or asked, “Why don’t you use your right hand? Why don’t you use the 'correct' hand?”

When arts and crafts time rolled around in grade school, everyone would get out their scissors, construction paper, and glue, and start to cut. What did I pull out? Yep, you guessed it: that specific pair of scissors with the green rubber grips and the word LEFTY in bold letters running down the side of the blades. They practically screamed, “LOOK AT ME.” To make matters worse, if you tried to use the right-handed scissors instead, your paper ended up looking like a cat used it as a scratching post.

Some teachers tried to make me hook my hand into a goofy shape when writing just to avoid smudging my work. I couldn't do it. It hurt my wrist, so I just wrote how it felt comfortable to me, and it all worked out in the end.

As I grew up, I put all that aside and didn’t worry about it. Can’t you tell it doesn’t bother me? Here I am at 50, still talking about it. Lol!

As I got older, I started noticing more left-handed people, including sports stars, movie icons, and television actors. I remember thinking, “Wow, more and more lefties are around now; maybe it will be more accepted.” Boy, was I wrong.

It wasn’t until years later that what I call the “lefty hate” really started to bother me. Though left-handedness is seemingly becoming more common—I’ve read that anywhere from 6% to 10% of the world is left-handed—society is still entirely dominated by a right-handed mentality.

Almost everything you do is geared toward a righty. A few everyday examples include:

• Using a screwdriver
• Tightening a bolt
• Operating a manual can opener
• Walking through standard residential doors
• Starting a lawnmower (where the pull-rope is entirely on the right side)

Most people don’t think about these daily hurdles for two reasons:

1. You’re a righty. If it doesn't affect you, there is no reason for it to cross your mind.
2. You’re a lefty who has adapted. You have used your right hand for various things until the workaround became second nature.

But there are people out there, like me, who are incredibly passionate about this topic. Some have built websites, Facebook pages, and newsletters. One that I read constantly is called Anything Left-Handed. If you sign up for their newsletter, they send out left-handed facts, history, and information. They also sell specialized merchandise, though they are based in the UK, so international shipping can be a bit costly.

Because of that community, I ended up discovering a retail kiosk called Lefty's: The Left Hand Store located in Disney Springs, Florida. They used to have a famous storefront on PIER 39 in San Francisco as well, though that location has since shifted entirely to their online shop. I make a point to visit their Florida store every time we visit Olando, and I truly wish I had access to those kinds of specialized tools when I was younger.

Think about this: many lefties are "ambidextrous" purely because society forced them to be. We didn't choose to use our right hands for doors, computer mice, or school desks—we just wanted to survive the day.

It often starts with what I call "subconscious correction." While teachers may no longer physically tie a child's left hand behind their back, a right-handed parent unconsciously placing a spoon or pencil into their toddler's right hand is a form of subtle programming.

This forced adaptation requires real, measurable brainpower, too. Neuroscientists have found that when a natural lefty is converted to use their right hand, their brain has to work significantly harder. Certain regions must exert extra effort to process movements that should be automatic, effectively forcing the brain to create complex workarounds just to navigate right-handed tools.

What we praise as "ambidextrous" might often just be a lefty who has spent a lifetime exerting extra mental energy to mask their true dominance, all to get by in a world that wasn't built for them.

One of the ultimate points I want to make is this: if you have a child who is left-handed, do not attempt to make them right-handed. Do not try to change them or make them feel like they are wrong for being unique. Even if you claim you’re “joking”—you’re not joking, you’re just being a jerk.

Oh, and to answer my friend Mike’s original question: I mainly use my right hand to shake. Like I said earlier, I believe it’s purely because of lifelong adaptation. But I do use my left hand on occasion. It feels more comfortable, and it also creates a wonderfully awkward moment for the recipient because it completely throws off their rhythm. Ha!

Remember, fellow lefties: August 13th is International Lefthanders Day.

Be safe, everyone.

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